Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He better not be in your backpack
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
