Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
