I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
