well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
