i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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