u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
