I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
