I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
