lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
