Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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