with your own penis?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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