I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
