just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
