Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
