I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
