there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
false alarm. still invincible.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
