love makes seman taste better
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
