Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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