I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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