I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Where did you get a picture of my penis
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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