i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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