It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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