Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
