We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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