if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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