He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
