i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I FOUND THE LEGS
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
