I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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