I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
