I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
