Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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