the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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