I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
soo... how was my night?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
