Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
