She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
