ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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