let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
