I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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