ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I have demons in me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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