I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
