She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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