When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
