You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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