We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
