we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
