I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
