...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
