we have pet lesbian snakes
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
