I cockslap morals
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
