Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
